The Path
By Ellen Evans
Copyright © 2015
Recovery is very personal. I’m talking about some aspect of your life that
has taken over. Some facet of who you are that is blocking who you want
to be. You might not even know yet who that is, but this mask of who
you have become can stop you from ever finding out.
The word recovery is most frequently used in reference to an over-
use of narcotics and alcohol but recently has been expanded to cover
gambling, eating, and more. Addicts use their substance of choice to
numb themselves from the realities of life, with the abuse becoming a
method of self-medication.
While the addict may be chasing his unattainable initial high, the
alcoholic may be telling themselves that this drink is their due after the
day they have had (whether good or bad). Where the gambler is looking
for his “one big win”, the overeater is bingeing on comfort foods.
The keystone to most recovery systems falls into the framework of a
12-step program, in the control of, or abstinence from what was once
formerly abused. Included with this is a tremendous support network in
place, with other peers willing to offer a hand just like someone offered
them. With the general population knowing more about the existence of
such programs, and the increasing number of addictions they treat, any
addict stands a better chance of recovery than ever before.
In this regard, however, recovery from mental illness travels a different
path. First, there is still a great stigma in our society for those suffering
from invisible illnesses, including invisible physical illnesses—Chronic
Migraine, early stages of Multiple Sclerosis, Fibromyalgia, and even
Arthritis are treated with disdain. With mental illness, however, it is only
very recently that it is “okay to not be okay”, thus depriving us of the
broad support system available to those with addiction issues.
Our form of self-medication is when we take unauthorized control of
our prescribed drugs. We get tired of the side effects, whether physical,
emotional, or both. Sometimes, we just grow weary of having to take the
medications again and again, with no end in sight. Even setting up the
weekly or monthly medication tray can become a heavy burden.
So, we decided to stop. At first, we feel fine, (due to the success of the
remedy), reinforcing our notion that the meds are no longer necessary.
Most psych meds require three to six weeks to clear the system. By the
time they do, our particular behaviors have returned strongly enough
that we can no longer recognize just how unwell we are.
It is critical that those of us with mental illnesses do not become
complacent, thinking, “Well, at least I’m not an addict.” Each of us
responds to different situations in different ways. Measuring our
individual condition to that of another can be deceptive at best and
harmful at worst. Although our battles may be divergent, they are
no less severe. Reaching the destination of recovery requires focus,
commitment, and determination, regardless of the path we choose
to get there.
The Only Answer
By Alex Davidowicz
Wish on a star, you won’t get far.
Wish on a rainbow, you won’t grow.
Crossing fingers leads to danger.
Reading cards will break your heart.
Answers don’t come from this world.
Only confusion and pain unfurled.
The only solution is to pray.
It’s never a waste of time or day.
A short conversation with our Creator
Will surely determine what happens later.
All other sources are null and void.
They are useless and should be destroyed.
Talking to Jesus is the greatest thing.
Let Him take you under His wing.
Mother Earth
By David Eisenberger
Mother Earth still spins each day
On a cycle since the very beginning
That we’ll have those four seasons
Hopefully we’ll get to realize this
Each day we’re killing her slowly
Right now with all the abuse we give
Everything that we’ve done to destroy
A paradise will come with consequences
Right now that very day’s approaching
That what we’ll have..will truly disappear
Hopefully Mother Earth will be kind to us!
Behind the Mask
By: Anonymous
I did not face the monsters in me
The monsters living in my Soul
I did not want to see them
or care to take a look
And letting them be known
I lied and kept the secrets in the dark
without bringing them to you
You were a light of truth and honesty
And I failed to be someone who was true
The consequence and the result
was so painful to me back then
I did not see that I would be
what I they are to me as I see them
My words and actions
were not in alignment
creating the karma that I would sow
And in the harvest that would come
The weight weighed a ton
with the shame that I now behold
I believed that you could help
But I could not look in the mirror
Too scary of an image
and too painful to know
while the waters were not any clearer
My actions that harmed first concealed
were of selfish hands that were bold
And to you it was finally revealed
And your trust in me I sold
I was not able to see how I was
Pretending to be who I was not
To you I was not anyways
especially when things fell to rot
I thought I could do better
And sadly, I did not
And you were someone who cared
Someone who cared a lot
I failed to look at myself
If only I had done better with honesty
That would have said more
than any other words
And I would have set myself free
The monsters in the closet took over
giving you a heavy blow
To your heart and trust in me
And the kindness that you showed
I could have done better
but better I did not know
Instead, I took from a high place
of your time and trust
And in the end
I feel low
I acted from a wrong place
the demons under the mask
You might even think I am evil
or maybe that I am bad
I would agree that a place in me
There is some truth to be had in that
When I refused to look at my demons
That were living under the mask
I lacked the awareness to see myself
With honest self-reflection
And to be honest with you
And let that be true
And move in the right direction
I do feel the river of regret
leading me back to the source
of my oldest pain
my heart lit up in flames
where I was set off the course
This aching shame won’t leave me alone
But it is this feeling that I feel
that is leading me back
back on the path
helping me to heal
If only I knew to do better
And what was expected of me
Then you would still be here to help
And the better I could be
Now I take the loss
of the falling of the tree
To die in the ground of remorse
And I pray that I will be better
When I am reborn
And set a much better course
It is truth they say that sets us free
I now need to embrace the truth
For at the end of the day by being honest
We will have nothing to lose.
Street Sights 