By Pastor Brian Archibald
To Infinity and Beyond!
I was blessed to have a conversation with a brother of mine named Gerald. He is a 62-year-old gentleman who currently lives here in Providence, RI. I asked him if he wouldn’t mind sharing his story about how he overcame an insurmountable circumstance and allowed the power of God and a recovery community to get him through something that otherwise could have taken him down a road that so many of us have traveled and haven’t made it through as yet.
On March 14th, 2023, Gerald suffered the loss of his wife. At the time of her death, Gerald only had sixty or so days clean. One could only imagine the knife that pierced his heart on that day. She was his everything. His bu, his friend, his encouragement, and more. As we spoke on the phone and more than once during this interview, I could hear and feel the hurt and the pain of loss that he was feeling, even to this very day. So much so that it made me think of the current passing of my moth- er and the hurt of loss that affected so many people. It was right then that I could see his face even though he wasn’t there where I was. I heard the tears as we went on and this awe- some individual struggled to share what was so personal and dear to him.
I think that the most impressive thing that he shared with me was that even with this horrible event that happened to him, Gerald did not once think about picking up a drink or a drug. In fact, his main concern was when he went deep down inside of self and asked, “What do I do now?” The most important thing that he could think to do was to call his sponsor in recovery. That evening Gerald and his sponsor spent the entire night until the wee hours of the morning grieving. Gerald was in and out of his sorrows the entire time, and one can only assume, for days and months after through today.
As we went on and spoke about the death of his wife, he shared with me the day he reached his sixtieth day of recovery. “It wasn’t something that I was thinking about,” he told me, but his wife knew, and on that day, she made sure that he knew that she was proud of him. That she was in his corner. She gave him accolades for his accomplishment, and though it may not have been a big deal to him at the time, she made sure that ‘he knew’ that what he had accomplished, even on a small scale, was a big deal to her. That in and above itself was a big reason for him to soldier on with his recovery.
About three weeks after the passing of his wife, Gerald started going to The Church of the Master. It was there that he found his Spiritual peace. As he kept up with his attendance at the Church, Gerald found that many other members of the Church had been through the struggles of addiction, alcoholism, and loss just as he had, and it was then that he knew that he was home. After a few months, Gerald became an intrical part of the Church. Volunteering on Saturday mornings during the feeding that the Church did, and doing his best to be there whenever he had the opportunity.
At the time of his wife’s passing, Gerald had no idea where or how he was going to survive. His income was almost nil, and he was persistently waiting for his victim’s fund to come through. It was then that God and the men and women of Narcotics Anonymous showed up. These men and women took it upon themselves to raise enough money for Gerald to pay his rent for the next two months until he could pay it himself. This is what community, love, and caring is all about. When it comes to a situation like this, we come together to stand for one an- other in the midst of this kind of tragedy and do the best that we can for the individual in need. This is the type of thing that encourages and represents who we are as a people and the depths of what we can do when we take the time to understand and be there for our brothers and sisters who are struggling.
As the interview came to a close, I asked Gerald what the most important thing was that he could pass on to someone who is struggling like he was back when his wife passed. He told me that the biggest things that he did were to keep himself around positive people who could support him the right way and give him the type of encouragement that he needed, as well to stay focused and involved with his recovery process and remain rooted and grounded in the Lord Jesus Christ.
I just want to pass this on to everyone whether or not you are in recovery. Whether you go to Church or not. I want to not only ask you, but I want to encourage you in every way that I can, that you find a ‘GOOD’ support system. People who you can count on to be there during your struggles. No matter how unimportant you may think your situation is, or how unimportant you might personally feel.
The bottom line is, at one point or another, we all need each other. We all need to know and be able to rely on each other at some point in our lives. Why do you think that God created women? It says it right there in the Bible in the book of Genesis 2:18, (and no, I’m not trying to get all religious on you. It’s just a fact that needs to be shared.) “It’s not good for man to be alone.” so even thousands of years ago, God saw that there was a need for man to have companionship. What I’m saying is that WE ALL NEED EACH OTHER. No matter how you might feel about humanity, or one particular individual or the other. The reality is that everybody needs somebody. To infinity and beyond!
So if you don’t know, Now you know!
Street Sights 